Today has been a hard day. I was feeding Vree and listening to some Christmas music when the song "The Chrismas Song" by Nat King Cole came on. For some reason this made me think of my Dad. I guess the idea that my dad would never meet my baby girl had been pushed out of my head but all the sudden it came flooding in, all at once. My dad will never hold her, never coo at her, never say he is a proud Grandpa of a new baby girl. He will just be "mom's dad who died before I was born". She won't learn funny things from him like how to tie a noose (ok so I really don't want her to learn that but my dad taught Jordan for some weird reason!). She won't color with him or learn things about cars from him. She won't be excited to visit him and be spoiled by him. I am thankful for the grandparents she has.
He would have liked her alot. I know he would have loved her but he would have really liked her too. She kinda reminds me of him, she's always has a shi# eating grin on her face, like she has something really funny to say. And when she is looking and concentrating on something, she does this thing with her mouth that he used to do. He would have liked her. I miss him. Merry Christmas Dad.
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